quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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