i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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