This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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