I love black thongs
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
