Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
