you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
