So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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