Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
