I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
