I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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