I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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