You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
