I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize