there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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