We're facebook friends in real life
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I am mentally ready for anal.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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