So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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