So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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