Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
