We should be called the Road Head Warriors
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
