It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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