No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
