I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
