I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
