I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
