her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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