Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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