after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
