question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
