It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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