I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
