well I can't set my house on fire every night
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
