We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
