My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
