She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
