I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
