do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
