I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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