found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
