i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
foreskin is a definite game changer
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
