I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
