3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
