alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
