Nicole vs. Life
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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