So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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