so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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