Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
what day is it and did you see me today?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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