Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My feet surprised me
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
