Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
