i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
