She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he puts the penis in happiness.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize