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Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
