god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
