Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
