Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
