My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
