I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
