Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
