so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
