This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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