thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
