walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
