Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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