Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize