I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
