Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
