Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He passed out mid-signature
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
