Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize