do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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