Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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