i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
