Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
