so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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