have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
