I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
