when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
